


Envisage Love

by Jesseabi, Owl_Postmaster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Feelings Realization, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27977211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jesseabi/pseuds/Jesseabi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owl_Postmaster/pseuds/Owl_Postmaster
Summary: Draco lets himself fall freely.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42
Collections: Harry/Draco Owlpost 2020





	Envisage Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WrtrGrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrtrGrl/gifts).



> A huge thank you to Semperfiona for her beta-reading. This work wouldn't be good without you. :)

He closes his eyes. Arms wide open, he can feel the pull in his stomach when he jumps. A gust of cold wind flings snow into his face. He can feel everything slowing around him, the swish-swoosh of air, the flutter of his clothes, his misty hair wavering. He can feel himself falling, everything around him freezing into place slowly like a puzzle solving itself. Draco lets himself fall freely with a knowing smile on his face.

  
**_12 hours before..._ **

Draco dipped his face forward, his breath pale against the numbing air. He blinked his eyes wide as the frost kissed his face patiently. He was captivated by the white blanket, rich and deep, that covered the ground, clumps of wet flakes drifting windlessly, light struggling to peek through murky clouds. He closed his eyes and smiled inhaling the crisp cool air. Draco had always liked snow, the chillness and whiteness that surrounded him, giving a renewed sense, a peaceful smile followed by the calmness when he steps on the soft snow akin to a new gift, fully wrapped, that can be opened only by warmness that is rooted deeply in himself. 

Something stirred deep down in his heart when soft laughter reached him. Without opening his eyes Draco knew who that voice belonged to. He always knew that voice, wherever he was, it was like second nature to him. 

The moment he opened his eyes, instinctively his eyes landed on that person. Wrapped in a red shawl that covered most of his lower face, messy long black hair covering his forehead, black robe swirling around him, rubbing his hands for body heat and smiling happily at something his friend said, stood Harry Potter, his boyfriend. Who as if feeling him looking, turned to greet him, a soft private smile only for him spreading across his face. Those green eyes deepened and they stared at him, making blood rush to his cheeks and neck.

When his hand unconsciously reached his, and a lame and silly grin spread on his face that reflected on Harry's, Draco let the gripping sensation in his heart loosen, allowing the ache to flow freely. 

_I love you..._ His mouth opened, forming the words his mind supplied. 

"Mate! come on, I am starving," Weasley shouted and walked ahead of them waving his hand to follow. 

Draco stilled, just as he had come up with what he was about to utter. His heart racing, he paled and hurried inside, vaguely aware that he had said nothing as an excuse.

Draco strode fast into his room and paced around in worry. He had come into an revelation. It shook him up and tilted his world and he didn't know what to do or to think about it. He had felt weird and tingly all over from the moment he felt himself accept the realisation that dawned on him.

_Draco Malfoy is in love with Harry Potter._

Not even a week after their eighth year started, Harry became his friend. After several casual talks, group studies and leisure flying hours together, slowly their friendship bloomed into something else. They could feel the changes, the attraction, need and closeness all pointed towards something different, in simple want for something, to be more than just friends. Draco could feel it; he knew Harry could too and Harry with all his Gryffindor courage had confessed that he liked him and wanted to try this, whatever this was between them. After coming back for eighth year wanting a silent and peaceful year away from the world outside, this was the last thing Draco had expected. Harry Potter had asked him out and he said yes. 

Yes! 

And after three months of building their relationship, a small walk outside the castle made him panic and run away with god knows what and then stop in his tracks to stand, still contemplating what to do. He was in love with Harry. He could feel something heavy in his heart lift when he said that aloud.

_I am in love..._

"Finally you realised ... I thought you would be oblivious .. like forever," Blaise said as he flopped on his bed smirking at him.

Draco glared at him, flushing embarrassed, realising he said that aloud.

Theo entered their room from the washroom, patting his shoulder for him to move and pulled his curtain aside and sat down looking at him frowning.

"What happened?"

"Draco said he is in love," Blaise said smoothly, in a bored voice that failed to conceal his amusement.

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all?" Draco nearly squeaked, affronted. It's not as simple as they make it out to be. He doesn't even know what that feels like, to realise something that's been there all along. He couldn't ignore the nervous flutter in his stomach nor the dreadful feel of the what if's his mind whispered followed by the happy twist of his heart.

Theo shrugged. "Mate, what else do you want me to say? Oh, I forgot: Congrats Draco for finally pulling your head from your arse and seeing clearly. "

Draco smacked him and sat down beside Blaise.

"Dude, come on... what's the problem here. Isn't it good... " Blaise trailed off as Draco shifted his facial features, letting the mask of indifference come into place, something that was drilled into him enough to surface whenever he feels vulnerable. So he stopped speaking as if he didn't know what to say, no, how to say whatever he wanted to. But Blaise is not an idiot, he knows him too well to be fooled. The look on his face tells Draco that he knows exactly what he was doing, steering away as usual, ignoring every ounce of feelings to be in control of himself.

" I ... maybe I'm scared," he admitted. It took some effort to form the actual word and let it flow out of his mouth. 

The air around them shifted. Theo stopped bouncing his foot and glanced at him and Blaise shifted around his bed making space enough for all three of them to lay in. Without a word Theo walked in and lay on the other side with Draco in the middle. Blaise pulled up the blanket and tucked all of them in. They lay together in silence.

"Maybe the answer is within yourself." Theo spoke so softly that at the verge of sleepiness, Draco almost didn't hear him.

Draco blinked his sleepy eyes. He felt relieved that they were acting in their usual way to divert him. He knows them, that’s how they all are, they know exactly what can be said to steer the other from wavering and drawn up the things that are deemed important for them, for all of them not to drift away from themselves. They don't just flaunt and smirk standing by, they also stay and protect what they see as theirs, their friends and family. That's how they are, were and will be.

_The answer is within yourself._

Draco couldn't sleep, so without disturbing his friends he wandered off to the common room. He sat near the hearth in the comfortable armchair and watched the flame flicker.

_Within yourself._

Draco closed his eyes and let his thoughts and memories flow freely.

_At the corner near the third floor was an alcove. Draco stood there hiding to calm himself after a long letter from his father about marriage and reputation and upholding their family name. The burden it carried weighed him down. After reading half of it, Draco's breathing grew faster, and he sat at the stairs nearby and watched the stars he created on the walls drift, shine and dim. He recast them again and again letting his mind wander off._

_"So you are here."_

_Draco startled and flinched away as he heard Harry beside him._

_"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."_

_Draco stayed silent, just sat there looking at his wand pointed at the dimming star that is about to vanish. Harry took his hand in his, trailing his thumb in a pattern that Draco followed with his eyes and slowly his breathing evened out._

_Without realising, Draco’s mouth opened and the words that had choked him flowed out. Harry listened throughout, without saying a single word, interrupting him or judging him. Harry’s small inhale and exhale guiding him, calmness crept inside him slowly, like sun peeking from behind the cloud._

_"It must have been difficult Draco. You have done well beyond all the name and whatever others have to say. You have done well. You are important as you are. You are wanted as you are with everything of you. With your success and your mistakes," Harry softly whispered. Draco laid his head on his shoulder._

_"Feeling okay?" Harry asked him softly._

_"After talking it out, I am. Thank you."_

* * *

_Harry paused, looking far away. "You know what…I don’t want to do this anymore. I am not doing it!" His face twisted in a grimace; his voice sounded the same old familiar way with barely restrained anger._

_"Why are you yelling?"_

_"I am... I don't want to do it, not anymore. "_

_""Yeah, Potter. Well done to finally admit defeat."_

_Harry looked pained and the words were out of his mouth before he could process. "You are selfish Draco, you can only think about yourself."_

_Draco paled. He looked at him, the hurt he knew was flashing on his face reflected in Harry’s. "Yeah you are right, do whatever you want Potter."_

* * *

_"I wanted to have a picnic today," Draco declared as Harry flopped down beside him. Draco set down the basket given to them by the house elf. Hogwarts elves are very enthusiastic when it comes to Harry. Draco looked at Harry fondly as he whistled some muggle song and set out all the food from the basket for them to eat._

_"Treacle Tart," Draco smiled when he saw the happy glint in Harry's eyes as he pulled out another one. Sun shone down on him, his messy hair tucked away behind his ears, green eyes twinkling happily. His sun-kissed skin glowed and Draco couldn't resist even if he wanted to. He leaned in and kissed him. Harry let out a gasp. Draco lay on top of Harry and kissed him thoroughly throughout their picnic till they became breathless and their lungs demanded forcefully for oxygen._

* * *

_It was raining outside. Draco liked the smell of rain, he inhaled it. Harry stood by him, his shoulders stiff and a sad smile on his face. Draco wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him towards himself._

_"Why do you hate rainy days?"_

_"It makes me feel like I am all alone," Harry whispered back, holding his arm, twining his fingers with his. Draco hugged him tightly when Harry leaned on him._

_"When I was younger and waited outside my school, rainy days were always sad. I didn't own an umbrella, and while watching other kids’ parents holding it for them and walking them back in a happy shelter, those looked like a symbol of protection. Something while growing up I didn't expect anyone to give me. Things must be clear for kids to understand."_

_Draco turned him towards himself and Harry rested his head on his shoulder. Draco shifted himself to withstand both of their weight, feeling his heart break for the younger Harry, a fierce protective side he never knew he had opening wide. Unconsciously, his magic stirred, an invisible barrier like mist swirled letting this man in, wrapping around him calmly, surrounding him protectively, claiming him, a shelter he knew he could not give the younger Harry, but to this man in front of him, he could, he promised himself. They stood there, Draco wiping away the trails of Harry’s tears._

Just like that all their days spent together flashed in front of him, one after the other. There were days when they fought and were disappointed in each other. There were days when they were hurt and sad, when they found each other struggling and overcoming. But thanks to that they started understanding each other. They started appreciating each other more, started falling for each other more. Things that were small and insignificant – things they considered small and unimportant – their small gestures and small things they did for each other that brought a smile to their faces – he finally realised them. He realised that it was impossible to share one's sincere feelings if it was too late.

Harry’s attention, his affection: once he felt them he knew he craved them not for the first time. He realised he was always in love with his idiot, with his Harry. 

Draco stood—he couldn't stop himself even If he wanted to—and ran outside, skittered towards the Gryffindor portrait and stopped. For a brief second he stood there watching the portrait snore. 

Before he could conjure a Patronus, the door pushed open and Harry stood in front of him, clothes dishevelled, his hair messier than usual, wand in one hand and a weird looking parchment in the other, eyes wide. 

Draco couldn't stop the tears that escaped. He leaned forward and pecked his lips softly. "Harry, I think…no...I am in love with you. I have always been in love with you."

  
_**Exactly 20 minutes before...** _

"Weasley, are you sure?" Draco smirks at the redhead, challenge clear on his face, with his arm stretched out.

"Yes, Malfoy I am," Weasley comes forward and shakes his hand and without thinking twice Draco goes inside to grab his broom for a Quidditch match.

They all gather, Weasley, Ginny, Harry, Blaise, and Neville as one team and Draco, Dean, Pansy, Seamus, and Theo as the other team.

The match starts. Draco laughs when Harry shouts about them all losing – Draco can’t even comprehend the other’s words – before they are all lost in flying in the air. They play for the rest of the afternoon, scoring, shouting, trampling and raising bets.

Just as Draco, Quaffle under his arm, comes close to a goal post in the foggy weather, ready to score, someone bumps into him knocking him away from his course. His breathing becomes hard, his vision is dotted with white. He tumbles and then jumps. He can hear people shouting in the background.

He closes his eyes. Arms wide open, he can feel the pull in his stomach when he jumps. A gust of cold wind flings snow into his face. He can feel everything slowing around him, the swish-swoosh of air, the flutter of his clothes, his misty hair wavering. He can feel himself falling, everything around him freezing into place slowly like a puzzle solving itself. Draco lets himself fall freely with a knowing smile on his face. 

Just like an apple falling down to the pull of gravity; just like the magic that surrounds him and the world, that connects him to be a part of it, that makes him alive and feel; just like the earth that carried his weight; just like its moves, circling the sun, the constant of it as certain as it is, he feels for the arms, warm and firm wrapped around his back, one possessive hand snaked around his neck. Just like gravity, like two poles attracted to each other despite the distance, he falls right into the waiting arms. Softly he catches him and holds him closer. Draco opens his eyes to see directly into the green eyes that tell more than any words can. Rather than seeing, he feels the emotions that pass through those green eyes. 

He can never second guess this person who is holding him now. After everything they have gone through together, this firmness, this trust, these feelings that have overwhelmed him but have never stopped him from admitting them, he has let Harry pass through the walls he has created throughout his life. He has watched them tremble, crumble and finally shatter in front of this man in whose arms he is now. The crystalline snow falls on his messy black hair, twinkling in the light that glows, highlighting his emerald green eyes hypnotizing him, showing him the love that is only his and Draco lets himself get lost into it.

He hears someone clearing their throat and he has to try very hard to look away from this handsome man in front of him. Only then does he realise that they are standing in a very large crowd that has just kept on growing. Blaise is staring at him with his boring cool mask but his eyes betray him, glinting at him teasingly. Pansy is smirking at him and Draco can feel the heat creeping its way from his cheek to his neck. He can feel himself flushing all over and tries to hide himself as subtly as possible without giving anything away to the crowd, while he is failing miserably, much to the amusement of his boyfriend who is chuckling at his antics, to escape the group that is approaching them. Just when this couldn't get any better he hears headmistress Minerva McGonagall’s voice from the crowd. Draco wants nothing but for the ground to open and swallow him whole.

"You all come to my office now." The headmistress gives them a glare and motions them to follow her.

But nothing can stop him from feeling happy and free and like he finally _belongs_. As if guessing his thoughts Harry holds his hand, gripping tightly. Draco presses back, feeling foolish, young and wonderfully weightless with it all.

**** end ****


End file.
